5 Red Flags That You're In A Cult 🚩
And what to do about it.
Understanding cult dynamics is going to be crucial moving forward.
As the foundations that we’ve always known continue to crumble and illusions are revealed, many people will be caught in a disorientating state, questioning everything they once believed was truth.
That can be really scary, and yet necessary.
Between religion, our governments, false prophets and even sometimes our own families, it’s easy to get caught up in unhealthy power dynamics without realizing it.
The first step to breaking any cycle is awareness, which can sometimes be incredibly challenging. Depending on your experience, your shadow may desperately try to cling to what it knows. Still, your Spirit’s call will be stronger.
In order to gain awareness, we must first educate ourselves.
Here are five red flags that may signal you're in a cult and what to do about it:
🚩 Us vs. Them Mentality: The group isolates members by creating an extreme divide between insiders (the "enlightened" ones) and outsiders (who are lost, corrupt, or dangerous).
🚩 Leader Worship: The leader is seen as infallible and is given excessive admiration, often beyond logic or reason. Their word is final, and questioning them is discouraged or punished.
🚩 Control Over Personal Life: The group dictates major aspects of your life, including relationships, finances, career, or even your thoughts and emotions, often under the guise of "spiritual growth" or "purification."
🚩 Fear-Based Obedience: Members are controlled through fear, whether it’s fear of punishment, damnation, exile, or losing their "higher purpose" if they leave or disobey.
🚩 Financial or Labor Exploitation: You're pressured to donate large sums of money, work for free, or recruit others under the belief that sacrificing for the cause is necessary for your salvation or success.
If you read this and thought, "Oh shit, I think I'm in a cult," then here are 7 tips on what to do next:
1. Give Yourself Grace: Leaving a cult or realizing its influence on you can trigger guilt, shame, or confusion. Be kind to yourself—manipulation is designed to be hard to recognize from the inside. You’re not at fault for being drawn in.
2. Seek Support Outside the Group: Reconnect with trusted family or friends who were not part of the group. If you’re worried about judgment, look for a support network of former cult members, therapists, or online communities that understand cult recovery.
3. Educate Yourself: Learning about cult tactics (coercion, gaslighting, undue influence) can help you make sense of your experience and break any lingering mental hold the group may have on you. Books, documentaries, and survivor stories can be eye-opening.
4. Consider Therapy: A therapist who understands high-control groups can help you process your experience, rebuild your identity, and heal any trauma. Avoid therapists who dismiss cult dynamics as “just a bad experience."
5. Take Back Your Autonomy: Cults strip members of personal agency. Rebuilding your independence—making your own choices, setting personal goals, and rediscovering hobbies—can be a powerful part of recovery.
6. Be Mindful of Emotional Triggers: Leaving a cult can lead to feelings of fear, anxiety, or even the urge to return, especially if you were conditioned to believe bad things would happen if you left. Recognizing these triggers and working through them can help you regain control.
7. Be Patient with the Healing Process: Leaving a cult is a major life shift. Healing isn’t instant, and some days will be harder than others. It’s OK to grieve, be angry, or feel lost. These are all normal steps toward reclaiming your life.
Some Books on Cult Dynamics & Recovery:
📚Combating Cult Mind Control by Steven Hassan
📚Take Back Your Life: Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships by Janja Lalich & Madeleine Tobias
📚Recovery from Cults: Help for Victims of Psychological and Spiritual Abuse by Michael D. Langone
📚The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Power by Joel Kramer & Diana Alstad
📚Cults in Our Midst by Margaret Thaler Singer
Memoirs & Personal Stories:
⚡️Educated by Tara Westover
⚡️Beyond Belief: My Secret Life Inside Scientology and My Harrowing Escape by Jenna Miscavige Hill
⚡️Leaving the Witness: Exiting a Religion and Finding a Life by Amber Scorah
Sometimes what can be even more difficult is recognizing how you are perpetuating the same energy within your personal relationships.
If you were raised in cult-like dynamics—whether through your religion, your family or your community—you may have unconsciously adopted the same habits and behaviors without recognizing it.
That is the shadow work. That is how you set yourself free.
Xo