Here Are 5 Ways Your Shadow Keeps You Stuck in a Karmic Loop
Do any of these sound like you?
This week on Threads, I shared various case examples of how the shadow can create karmic loops for people.
As I’ve mentioned in the past, it’s hard to recognize our own shadow without conscious awareness. Just like in your physical reality, the second you turn around to face your shadow, it runs and hides behind you.
This is also true when it comes to the hidden parts of your psyche.
For that reason, it can sometimes be easier to witness the thread (no pun intended) of shadow cycles through another, so take a look at some of these common case examples below and see if any sound familiar to you.
Maya, The Over-Achiever
Maya is a workaholic who ties her self-worth to her career achievements. She consistently seeks validation through external success, often pushing herself to the point of burnout.
Maya’s shadow stems from a childhood where love and praise were only given when she excelled. Her subconscious belief is, “I am only worthy if I perform perfectly.”
Despite her accomplishments, Maya feels hollow and unfulfilled. She often sabotages relationships and personal happiness, fearing she’ll be seen as “lazy” or “unworthy” if she slows down.
Her perfectionism has created an illusion of herself that unconsciously damages true intimacy before it even begins.
Maya's constant need for external validation traps her in a cycle of overwork and emotional neglect, perpetuating the same feelings of inadequacy she’s trying to escape.
Ethan, The Lone Wolf
Ethan avoids emotional intimacy, choosing instead to keep relationships superficial. He prides himself on his independence but often feels lonely.
Ethan’s shadow is rooted in early abandonment by a parent, leading him to believe, “If I rely on others, they will leave me.” This has created a defense mechanism of emotional detachment.
Ethan’s fear of vulnerability leads to short-lived relationships, reinforcing his belief that no one truly cares for him.
By avoiding emotional closeness, Ethan unconsciously recreates the abandonment he fears most, perpetuating his loneliness.
Sophia, The People-Pleaser
Sophia bends over backward to keep everyone around her happy, even at the expense of her own needs. She avoids conflict and fears disappointing others.
Sophia’s shadow comes from growing up in a household where peace was maintained only if she suppressed her own desires. Her core belief is, “If I make others happy, I’ll be loved.”
This ends up slapping Sophia in the face, because ultimately she gets resentful and feels undervalued since her own needs are never met. Despite her efforts, she attracts relationships where she’s taken for granted.
Sophia’s inability to set boundaries keeps her stuck in cycles of people-pleasing, further reinforcing her sense of invisibility and unworthiness, and continuing to neglect her own needs.
James, The Saboteur
James consistently sabotages opportunities for growth, whether it’s in his career, relationships, or personal goals. He procrastinates and blames external circumstances for his lack of success.
James’s shadow stems from a fear of failure, born out of a childhood where mistakes were harshly criticized. His subconscious belief is, “It’s safer not to try than to risk failing.”
James stays stuck in mediocrity, never fully pursuing his dreams. This reinforces his belief that he’s incapable of success.
His avoidance of risk ensures he never progresses, trapping him in a cycle of self-doubt and stagnation.
Elena, The Romantic Idealist
Elena repeatedly falls for emotionally unavailable partners. She convinces herself that if she loves them enough, they will change and commit to her.
Elena’s shadow originates from a childhood where love was conditional and inconsistent. She believes, “If I can prove I’m lovable, I won’t be abandoned.”
Elena ends up in toxic relationships where she feels neglected and unworthy, reinforcing her fear of rejection and internalizes their incompatibility as a challenge to try harder.
By chasing unavailable partners, Elena unconsciously recreates the instability she experienced in childhood, keeping her stuck in patterns of heartbreak.
(I know Elena’s struggle too well.)
Do any of these hit home for you? Each of these examples illustrates how unresolved shadow behaviors create self-perpetuating loops.
Shadow work can help you recognize these patterns, confront the underlying beliefs, and break free to create new, healthier outcomes.
If you haven’t already, check out my e-book Deconstructing Shadow Work to learn more about your shadow, and as always, you can book a session with me if you want to deepen your journey.
Xo
Oooof. Just call me Sophia. Thank you for this ,💜