We’ve seen the tropes in media and heard the jokes about in-laws making relationships more difficult, but it can get much deeper than not being able to throw down in the kitchen like their mama.
A common theme we see play out in movies and television is a man’s mother being a wedge between him and his partner. We see it so much that we don’t even realize how serious this can be, and the blocks it can create when it comes to partnership.
Something that seems to be illuminated recently are acknowledging our mother wounds. For many years, we heard about “daddy issues,” and now, it’s time to face the (sometimes subconscious) patterns stemming from our mothering.
Especially for men.
Mother-son enmeshment is a widely talked about topic, but only if you’re really looking for it. It has yet, in my experience, become an openly discussed issue, but it exists nonetheless, and it is heavily affecting men who desire partnership, and the people who try to create partnership with those men.
Now, some of you may be reading this and think, “What exactly are you talking about?”
Enmeshment is a term to describe a relationship between two or more people in which personal boundaries are permeable and unclear. Ultimately, it can become a form of control that can dissolve a person's own emotional identity and individuality.
This can occur in any type of relationship, but arises a lot with mothers and their sons, especially if the father is physically or emotionally absent. The son then takes on the role of his mother’s companion, which can lead to him feeling engulfed, enmeshed, smothered, and intruded upon.
His wants and needs have merged with hers and the son’s identity is lost. As you can imagine, this can bring up a ton of blocks when it comes time to cultivate a substantial relationship with another woman.
As I said—it gets deep. And that’s why I’m so excited to dive into this topic more with my friend and men’s coach Jose Alejandro later today on IG Live.
Join us at 3:30 pm PST to hear more about what mother-son enmeshment is, signs to spot it, the long-term affects it can create and more. If you’re not able to join live, no worries. I’ll post the playback on my page.
Before I go, I’ll be sharing a very exciting announcement with you guys first this weekend!
I’ve been working incredibly hard to curate a powerful and intentional offering for you, and I’m so looking forward to sharing it with you soon, so keep an eye out on your inbox!