Happy Monday, friends.
As always I hope this weekend replenished you in whatever way you most desired. I must say, while nothing catastrophic occurred, the energy was definitely off during this weekend.
Was I the only one feeling that?
Regardless, we’re on to a new week with new energies and new(ish) guidance on how to maneuver through it as best as possible.
Yet again, the mind is coming through front and center, literally and figuratively. I’ve noticed that when it comes to the work I do specifically, I tend to get a lot of messages regarding the mind, which works since I am a mindset coach.
So, if you’ve been attracted to my work and my readings resonate deeply, chances are it’s because you’re meant to heal the mind.
Intuitively, I’m feeling like this week may present an experience that’s going to make your mind go 100 mph. I don’t say that to scare you, there’s nothing to fear here, but it will be a stark illustration of how your mind can work against you, and just how fast.
The beautiful thing here is I see this as an opportunity for you to truly experience the growth that you’ve worked so hard to achieve.
It’s going to be one of those things where you’re like, “Whoa, that could’ve really taken a turn,” and it didn’t, because you caught yourself. You saw the pattern doing what it does, and you stopped it.
It’s as complex and simple as that.
Overall, there’s just this sense of exhaustion to the point where you’re kinda pissed. I’m hearing, “I’m so sick of this.” And that’s completely understandable, because it feels like these addictive behaviors (such as overthinking, overanalyzing, filling in the blanks without the necessary information) is a pattern from a very young age. You’ve been a servant to this for a very long time, and you know what? Maybe getting pissed about it is exactly the fuel you need to kick the habit for good.
Because let’s really think about this, since we love to think so much—when have those behaviors really helped you? Sure, you may have correctly predicted something, but were you able to avoid it? Chances are no. So now, not only did you face the pain of said experience, but you self-inflicted more heaviness all that time leading up to it because of where you kept placing your energy.
Now, this is where the shadow work comes in, because there’s a question worth asking here. Is there, subconsciously (of course), a part of yourself that seeks out pain in any given situation? Are you always bracing for the next impact?
The root of behaviors like these is often a sense of protection (and I’ll touch on this in a second), and a deep desire to be right, which may stem from being completely dismissed as a child and even adult. Whether that was physically, mentally, emotionally or otherwise. Now, it’s become this endless need to prove yourself which is completely fueled by the ego.
But what’s actually happening is you are hurting yourself and sacrificing your peace in an effort to prove you’re worthy.
This can also stem from being lied to constantly, either by caregivers or partners or both. I see this resonating for those who are intuitive and hypervigilant. You groomed these traits as a form of survival, and because they’ve become a staple to your safety, it’s that much harder to let go.
That is coming from a false need of having to be two steps ahead of everyone else in order to make sure there are no surprises or threat, which (and now we’re getting to the root) is a lack of trust. You inherently don’t feel safe.
There are so many reasons that your lack of trust is valid. And here’s the tipping point: it’s not that you don’t trust others as much as you don’t trust yourself.
This is who you’re actually proving your theories to. This is who you keep trying to please with these behaviors. This is your shadow work.
I’m getting a direct message for some of you that this is stemming from a traumatizing experience that you haven’t forgiven yourself for. Even though what happened was not your fault, you keep punishing yourself for “not being smarter” or “not knowing better” or “not being able to avoid what happened.” The list is endless and it’s harsh. If this resonates with you, I’m sending you love. There is a lot of self-shame here that needs to be released.
It’s easy to project the need for these unhealthy behaviors onto others, and to rationalize why they’re worth holding on to, but it always comes back to you. This is about you. This is about what narratives you’ve chosen to believe, what you choose to focus on, what you give attention to, and where you direct your energy.
I definitely didn’t intend for this impromptu sermon, but if you guys saw the way my hands were typing like they were on fire…this message is very clear and direct, and it’s unraveling the layers, because at this point, we’re not going to do anything with blanket statements like, “Trust yourself more,” or “surrender.”
These mean nothing to you if you don’t understand why it’s so hard to do, why there’s a block, where that block comes from, and why the power to change that is only with you.
Get comfortable with feeling crazy. I say that because the more you challenge your mind, the more you challenge your beliefs, the more you’re going to wonder if you’ve lost it. And maybe you did, but maybe what you lost was never worth holding on to in the first place.
I love that Patience and New Beginnings are anchoring this card on each side. It’s a beautiful reminder to be patient with yourself throughout this process with the promise that nothing you’re doing is in vain.
The numerology of this reading is a 2, which is fitting, per yoosh. Numerologists identify the number 2 as a “supremely feminine force, one that represents both grace and power. It is cooperative, always aiming to bring peace and balance back to a relationship or situation. It is also very sensitive. Of all the numbers, it has the strongest intuition.”
Be gracious with yourself as you continue to shed what never belonged to you.
Xo